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The Writings on the Stall

Saturday, 2002-08-24

fords suck. but i guess i can make an exception

Ford Taurus

Throughout my entire life my family has always had Chevy's. Thus I have always been partial. And last year I became a hardcore Longhorn. [Just filling you in on a few minor details before we start this wonderful journey of twists and turns]

So, recently, I found out that my dad had been planning a big surprise. I have never had one of these "big surprises" before. So I really didn't know what to expect. My family therefore kept the suspense level high from the moment I started anticipating what my dad had in store.

I think my mom felt a little sorry for me. I really wanted to know. And everyone kept chunking me clues in the wrong direction. Needless to say she cracked. She told me I would be getting a maroon Ford Taurus as soon as I got insurance. Here's how that conversation went:

"A maroon Ford Taurus? Mom you know I bleed orange."
Yeah, I know. But when we picked you up in Austin this past weekend I realized there were a lot of maroon cars in Longhorn territory."
"Oh, the irony." [Note: my mom didn't actually say this. I am just adding it to spice up an otherwise boring conversation. Boring anyways? Sorry 'bout that]

Well, me and dad pulled up to get the car just a little while ago. I didn't unlock the car. But my dad did. And I heard a chirp. But what is crucial here is he didn't use a key. The car is keyless! I guess I am a simple guy, but the whole maroon thing didn't bother me anymore.

But wait. It gets better.

I think a residual placebo effect was still in full force when I got home. The car looked maroon. I shuddered. What I then found out is that the car is actually 'Toreador Red' which makes all the difference. In my mind and in the dark, the car was maroon. Maybe tomorrow will shed some light as to the currently ambiguous color of the car.

I don't like Fords, right? Yeah, that is correct. Well, I won't complain. What I will do though is get a sticker with Calvin pissing guessed it, the Ford emblem. Oh, the pleasures of being genius.

In related news...

"Woohoo! Total freedom. Ah, college life just got kicked up a notch."

Update 2002-08-24 03:59:10: I've added a picture to give you an idea what the car will look like.


2002-09-10 00:47 / Oscar:

Ha, that's great, a maroon car. Honestly though, a burnt orange car would look pretty terrible. Just tell people it's red. At least you have wheels now, I'm still a pedestrian.

2002-09-10 03:02 / Jonathan Horak:

I agree. But I have seen a few burnt orange cars that look pimp. One that I am thinking about is the new Dodge Dakota. Quite a few alumni tailgate out of the back of this truck at football games. And everytime I see it a single tear of joy wells up. Only one though. Any more would be excessive.

2004-05-25 14:42 / Mary:

Fords SUCK YEAH!!!!!
hey i got a joke for ya:
*What's worse then drinking from a tiolet?
..... Driving A Ford!!!! lol thanx ok yeah bye

2005-02-19 09:12 / Amber:

Heya fords are s*it why anyone drives em i have no idea.....chevys will always rule over hang it up boyz....

2005-04-29 09:29 / bill:

Burnt orange is right after that baby bursts into flames.

2005-08-11 15:40 / Chongo:

Although I agree fords suck as well, anyone who's ever read Consumer Reports knows that Chevy's and Dodge's are even more unreliable. I love America, but Detroit can't seem to make a decent car or truck no matter what the brand.

2005-08-12 09:07 / Jonathan Horak:

You love America but don't love the big three? How preposterous. Just kidding.

I actually no longer have the Taurus mentioned in this entry. My girlfriend and I are now driving a Volkswagen Beetle. Great car, but for its size the gas mileage should be better. (Seems there are issues with the engine the used car dealership didn't reveal.)

Thanks for your comment, Chongo.

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