Wednesday, 2004-07-07
the best-laid plans of mice and men
A much delayed 21st Birthday wrapup from Guestblogger J.P.
The plan was simple —
Buy Jonathan a jacket at Brooklyn Industries
Watch De La Guarda at an old bank building
Eat Italian food at Trattoria
And show Jonathan a night out on the town
On Monday,
Gemma would have a luncheon in front of the Angel Statue at Central Park
We'd then visit the original Brooklyn Industries store
And finally, take Jonathan to the Brooklyn Lager Brewery
Didn't exactly work out that way
Plans WAAAY out the window
Sunday, June 27, 2004
1/2 price TKTS booth at South Street Seaport closed at 3:30 p.m.
Gemma didn't get the gift
What gift?
J.P. had to meet Jonathan to buy his own tickets at TKTS in Times Square
Tickets to De La Guarda sold out
J.P. late to Union Square anyway
Looking for a particular Italian restaurant
Where is it?
Walked south
Ran into Will Smith in SoHo in all his "Wild, Wild West" grandeur
Only redeeming factor
Barolo - three course meals we couldn't afford
Salivating
Lost in SoHo
Sat down at café in Greenwich Village
J.P.'s friend came through with the D-Lo on Trattoria
Great meal - creamy Italian novelty party in our mouths
Think about that
Surprise ending
Gemma flicks a hair off her arm
Realizes it's not a hair, but a cockroach
A COCKROACH
Gemma screams
EEEK, ARK?
Jonathan and J.P. pull back
Not a sound
Not a creature was stirring at Trattoria
Except for a cockroach
Splat
Dead cockroach
Subway home
Gemma had a great idea
We would buy a pineapple, soak it in Malibu Coconut Rum, and eat it
Get pineapples
How do we cut it?
No knife
Didn't no how
Let's go to the grocery store
It's closed
Liquor store?
Closed
No Malibu
We're stuck with eight oranges
Monday, June 28, 2004
12:00 a.m. Jonathan turns 21
Time to go out on the town
Get Jonathan wasted
That was the plan
J.P. slept and forgot to turn on his alarm
1:00 a.m. Jonathan and J,P. leave for Manhattan
2:34 a.m. East Village, 14th St.
First bar, cool people smoking outside
Four people inside
Tall Filipino girl
2:40 a.m. Coyote Ugly, 9th St.
Maria mounts Jonathan on the bar
Meatheads hootin' and hollerin'
Jonathan reluctantly tells Gemma later
Gemma wants to punch Maria in the face
Knock that stupid little cow-hat off her head
Don't worry Gemma, J.P.'s lookin' out
I'll punch her in the right tit if she does anything
Burp Castle is closed
Can't "revere the beer"
McSorley's closed, too
On to Niagara
The last time J.P. was here he saw Johnny Knoxville
Jackass
Drunk punks are fighting
Midget Mexican serves spirits
Sticker on the microwave says, "Bush one term president"
Cozy Soup and Burger
Jonathan can't keep the avocado on burger
The sun had risen over the Manhattan skyline
J.P. still had to piss
Puddle in front of NYU apartments
The sun lights up the concrete jungle
6:34 a.m. Subway home, partially inebriated
Sleep
Union Square
We all met behind George Washington's horse's ass
Jonathan shat on by a bird
J.P. late again
Gemma couldn't find the Angel Fountain in Central Park
Go to Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Hipster Central
The Original Brooklyn Industries store had a large jacket
We need an extra large
On to a bar on Bedford
Two Brooklyn Lagers and a Vodka Sour
Jonathan opens his beloved laptop,
Amorously named Manzana Gordita
—What a coincidence, Brooklyn Lager is up on Wi-Fi—
J.P. and Gemma laugh
—Let's humor him—
We all walked into a revolutionary bookstore and saw strange books
Yabby's
Great steak fries
Pink sofas
DUMBO
District Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass
Rice didn't have calamari
Jonathan and J.P. were looking forward to calamari
Night has already fallen
Brooklyn Bridge State Park
To the left, Brooklyn Bridge
Downtown Manhattan shrouded in light
To the right, Manhattan Bridge
Subway
Home Sweet Home
Greek Land
Astoria, NY
28-19, 42nd St.
Apt. A4