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The Writings on the Stall

Wednesday, 2004-07-28


Around the corner is Mano's Papaya. Considering how expensive food tends to be in New York, a joint that charges $2.50 for two hot dogs and juice provides a welcome sight. The owners there are nice. Always friendly.

When I ask for two hot dogs with sauerkraut and mustard I also ask for their banana concoction (anticipating their next question).


J.P. can't recall this expression, which I find both redundant and endearing, even though he is more a Mano's regular than I. Still, I ask it of him sporadically; our little in-joke.

Luckily I shared the moment when the question was posed, although I turned to avoid eye contact. (I could tell he had a laugh that was about to break, as did I.)

With our laughter held in for the moments at the cash register, we headed out for the short walk home — in hysterics.

Friday, 2004-07-23

trek that alcohol

A short while ago I heard a string of "thumps" and realized it was a woman pulling an Old People's Cart down the stairs at the end of the hallway.

She came to the inside door in the apartment entry-way and pulled her cart down the steps I'm currently sitting on. Then opened the door to the stoop and dragged her cart down and out into the rain and into the darkness.

Later the lady returned with two small bags of groceries, which I then saw to contain alcohol. Honestly. What was the point of all that noise and trouble if you intended to bring back a couple bottles of booze? (Why wasn't the cart left behind?)


Gemma doesn't like tomatoes. I do. Today she got them on accident in her Chinese delivery. None went to waste.

For the longest time, I hated tomatoes too. So I wondered how 16-year-old Jonathan (a time I disliked the red fruit) would react to older him eating every tomato Gemma avoided.

First reaction: "You've got a girlfriend?! I always thought that would never happen."

Second: "Don't eat that!" [Yak]

Wednesday, 2004-07-21

cheap movies

Guestblogger J.P.

Characters - J.P. Jonathan and Gemma

On balmy summer Tuesday night in New York
In search of Pizza and Ice Cream as always
99 cent nights
Ice Cream

Cold Stone Creamery is an anomaly
Drop a tip and the employees sing cheesy jingles
We've reached our cheese limit

42nd St.
Eat ice cream on theater steps
See smokers breathe the fresh aroma of cancer

Gemma is mad at an idiot next to a trash can
who whistles loudly at women as they walk by
scaring them

—Jonathan, it's that really bad magician from SoHo—
The bad magician is talking to the whistling idiot
Halcyon existence

Bad magician tries to impress two smokers
Bad magician uses his electromagnetic powers
And a crowd gathers around him
He should cut off his Jeri Curl mullet pony tail

Movies are expensive
Cheap movies are hard to find
On Tuesday night, hop on the 7 train and go to Queens

There you find first-run movies for a mere $3.50
We missed Anchorman
Gemma reluctantly says —yes— to Spiderman 2
Kirsten Dunst has a big forehead

The experience is worth the long trek
First get an introduction to the immaculate restroom
As you step on the squishy, moist door carpet
Humid stench emanates
And then the huge screen, THE HUGE SCREEN!

An Asian drag queen with a bad blonde dye job greets us at the door

Spiderman commences
I see the Gray Line bus is behind Joe's Pizza
Spiderman got fired

Then a bitch answers her cell phone
—HELLO?!? The movie—
Bitch still on the phone
—You talkin' to me?—
—SHHA! SH! Yes you stupid BITCH—
—You mu-fuckah—

People laugh
Jonathan gets mad at me during the "gist" of the movie

After the movie, we pet a Dachshund
We talk about rotting dog teeth, infections, and wet Science Diet

The bitch mumbles as she passes
I ignore her
—You better ignore me stupid ass—
As her ass flaps in the wind
Along with her unsubstantial comebacks

We get on the train platform and two members of said bitch's entourage walk up the stairs
Fear tingles temporarily,
Then confidence at the fact that my insanity will protect me

We reminisce about the night,
The pizza, the ice cream, the drag queen, and the bitch

Hoobastinks sings a song in my head
Hoobastinks: The Reason

Tuesday, 2004-07-20

daydreams are always fun to wake up to

There is an extra-thin girl in front of me (at Bryant Park). She has lit up about a pack of cigarettes since I arrived at the park.

Man. I will never pick up smoking.

I grabbed the cigarette in her hand, threw it on the ground and stomped it out. Then casually walked off.

Daydreams are always fun to wake up to.

Friday, 2004-07-16

pablo picasso

I have a newfound appreciation of Picasso through the quotes of Picasso:

If one knows exactly what is going to be done, why do it?
My mother said to me, "If you become a soldier, you'll be a general; if you become a monk you'll end up as the pope." Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso.
Everything you can imagine is real.

J.P. fires them off at random and is to blame.

Tuesday, 2004-07-13

wish floyd were here

I created a Pink Floyd covers compilation in 2002; titled "Wish Floyd Were Here," the CD's track info was sent to the CDDB.

This disc has collected dust for quite some time now. Today I loaded it into my computer and to my surprise, the track listings created Freshman year came down from CDDB.

Monday, 2004-07-12

cell phones

The plan now, for both J.P. and I, is to simultaneously test our cell phone ring settings when we catch someone doing so on the subway — all too often. Hopefully offenders will begin getting the picture.

And to the woman who obnoxiously opened her fluorescent blue cell phone in the middle of De La Guarda: you've missed the point of it all.

Sunday, 2004-07-11

de la guarda

Saw De La Guarda tonite with Gemma, J.P., Oggie and some friends (from Texas) that I bumped into at Union Square. Craziest thing, they were set to see De La Guarda independently.

I don't intend to spoil the show, but I will say that it left me open-mouthed and — cliché as this may sound — inspired. As J.P. says, everyone should see De La Guarda. The show brings you out of the day to day and forces you to free yourself (even if just for a bit). Then it sets you back out to the "real world" as a sphere of new energy to bring change.

Like anything, though, you can take from De La Guarda what you will. And should, soon.

Friday, 2004-07-09


After months of buzz jealousy, I finally have a Gmail account of my own — username: jareha. The email address will primarily be used as a spam filter(er), replacing Hotmail (which I have long used for this purpose).

Wednesday, 2004-07-07

stoop nerds

Guestblogger J.P.

I wonder what the Bridge and Tunnel guidos and guidettes think about as they pass two indiscreet Apple Geeks sitting out on the steps of 28-19 42nd St.

Stoops were a sign of status back when New York was a Dutch colony
More steps, more status
Less steps, less status

28-19 42nd St. has two steps on its stoop

High society we are

the best-laid plans of mice and men

A much delayed 21st Birthday wrapup from Guestblogger J.P.

The plan was simple —
Buy Jonathan a jacket at Brooklyn Industries
Watch De La Guarda at an old bank building
Eat Italian food at Trattoria
And show Jonathan a night out on the town

On Monday,
Gemma would have a luncheon in front of the Angel Statue at Central Park
We'd then visit the original Brooklyn Industries store
And finally, take Jonathan to the Brooklyn Lager Brewery

Didn't exactly work out that way
Plans WAAAY out the window

Sunday, June 27, 2004

1/2 price TKTS booth at South Street Seaport closed at 3:30 p.m. Gemma didn't get the gift
What gift?
J.P. had to meet Jonathan to buy his own tickets at TKTS in Times Square
Tickets to De La Guarda sold out
J.P. late to Union Square anyway

Looking for a particular Italian restaurant
Where is it?
Walked south
Ran into Will Smith in SoHo in all his "Wild, Wild West" grandeur
Only redeeming factor
Barolo - three course meals we couldn't afford

Lost in SoHo

Sat down at café in Greenwich Village
J.P.'s friend came through with the D-Lo on Trattoria
Great meal - creamy Italian novelty party in our mouths
Think about that

Surprise ending
Gemma flicks a hair off her arm
Realizes it's not a hair, but a cockroach
Gemma screams
Jonathan and J.P. pull back
Not a sound
Not a creature was stirring at Trattoria
Except for a cockroach

Dead cockroach

Subway home

Gemma had a great idea
We would buy a pineapple, soak it in Malibu Coconut Rum, and eat it
Get pineapples
How do we cut it?
No knife
Didn't no how
Let's go to the grocery store
It's closed
Liquor store?
No Malibu
We're stuck with eight oranges

Monday, June 28, 2004

12:00 a.m. Jonathan turns 21

Time to go out on the town
Get Jonathan wasted
That was the plan
J.P. slept and forgot to turn on his alarm

1:00 a.m. Jonathan and J,P. leave for Manhattan

2:34 a.m. East Village, 14th St.

First bar, cool people smoking outside
Four people inside
Tall Filipino girl

2:40 a.m. Coyote Ugly, 9th St.
Maria mounts Jonathan on the bar
Meatheads hootin' and hollerin'

Jonathan reluctantly tells Gemma later
Gemma wants to punch Maria in the face
Knock that stupid little cow-hat off her head

Don't worry Gemma, J.P.'s lookin' out
I'll punch her in the right tit if she does anything
Burp Castle is closed
Can't "revere the beer"
McSorley's closed, too

On to Niagara
The last time J.P. was here he saw Johnny Knoxville

Drunk punks are fighting
Midget Mexican serves spirits
Sticker on the microwave says, "Bush one term president"

Cozy Soup and Burger
Jonathan can't keep the avocado on burger
The sun had risen over the Manhattan skyline
J.P. still had to piss
Puddle in front of NYU apartments

The sun lights up the concrete jungle

6:34 a.m. Subway home, partially inebriated


Union Square
We all met behind George Washington's horse's ass
Jonathan shat on by a bird

J.P. late again

Gemma couldn't find the Angel Fountain in Central Park

Go to Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Hipster Central

The Original Brooklyn Industries store had a large jacket
We need an extra large

On to a bar on Bedford
Two Brooklyn Lagers and a Vodka Sour
Jonathan opens his beloved laptop,
Amorously named Manzana Gordita
—What a coincidence, Brooklyn Lager is up on Wi-Fi—
J.P. and Gemma laugh
—Let's humor him—

We all walked into a revolutionary bookstore and saw strange books

Great steak fries
Pink sofas

District Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass

Rice didn't have calamari
Jonathan and J.P. were looking forward to calamari

Night has already fallen
Brooklyn Bridge State Park
To the left, Brooklyn Bridge
Downtown Manhattan shrouded in light
To the right, Manhattan Bridge

Home Sweet Home
Greek Land
Astoria, NY
28-19, 42nd St.
Apt. A4

j.p. enters the fray

Starting now, J.P. Regalado — my roommate for those of you not keeping tabs in the peanut gallery — is going to guestblog at another pointless dotcom.

Considering he barely knows what a weblog is this should be an interesting experience, to say the least. There won't be a dull moment.

Friday, 2004-07-02

very good fertilizer

The following is from Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse Five:

Trout, incidentally, had written a book about a money tree. It had twenty-dollar bills for leaves. Its flowers were government bonds. Its fruit was diamonds. It attracted human beings who killed each other around the roots and made very good fertilizer.