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The Writings on the Stall

Sunday, 2002-03-31

laughlab: the world's funniest joke

100,000 people took part in a study carried out by scientists investigating the psychology of laughter in a huge experiment called Laughlab.

Here is the joke that won:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night, Holmes wakes Watson up.

"Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce."

Watson says: "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth; and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life."

Holmes replies: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!"

Saturday, 2002-03-30

tea and puns, with the waterstons

Proper tea is theft.

How's that? The generation that experienced the world between 1939 and the late forties in Northern Ireland knew that tea made from blackthorn leaves and coffee made from dandelion roots or chicory were not the real thing. Ersatz tea simply was not tea. Everybody admitted it. But the inclination to drink tea had become so habitual that, in the absence of actual tea, people were prepared to drink discolored water at the appropriate times.

So where's the pun? The original quote of "All property is theft" was written by Pierre Joseph Proudhon, a philosopher and economist, who wrote "What is Property?"

I never imagined liking hot tea. My entire life I have been an iced-tea type of guy. Funny how tastes can begin to change in college. Scottish Blend isn't the tea of choice yet, but it is when I spend time with Gemma's family. Now I understand what proper tea is all about.

Thursday, 2002-03-28

google plug

I use the Google Toolbar daily for all my web searches. It has countless features. And I use as many of them as I can (because they make life easier). Well, I found something that I had never noticed until today. If you click on the Google logo on the toolbar a menu pops down. What? Hold up a second. I ain't stoopid. I knew that was there. Let me continue. If you then click where it says "About Google Toolbar..." a window pops up such as this one which tells you a little about the version of the toolbar software you have. Blah, blah, blah. What's really cool is the Latin quote in the center that I hadn't seen yet: "De parvis grandis a cervus erit." Small things will make a large pile.

How did I find out what it means? By using Google of course. Haven't used the search engine yet? You should.

Google Toolbar

Tuesday, 2002-03-26

the writings on the stall

Recently, in my procrastination efforts, a thought has come into existence, in the midst of my brainstorming, for a website with a different focus: the writings written on stalls. The goal is to eventually build a page that will allow you, the user, to submit pictures of such writings (drawings too) to the site. If you wanted to start now, you can, by sending in a writing using my nice little submit form.

Note: the site is in no way supportive of the destruction of bathroom stalls nationwide. It is however interested in the observation and analyzation of said destruction.

Inaugural Entry
  - Subvert the dominant paradigm.

The Second Entry — Gemma Waterston
  - Is true love ever to be found?
  - Yes. Believe it, and it was so.
  - It is not a question of finding "true love," but one of finding someone whose bullshit you can put up with.
  - False love is not love at all. If you love truly, then it is true love.
  - I'm just looking for someone who doesn't irritate the shit out of me.
  - It seems to me u all fail to recognize love in its pure existence by attempting to define it
  - Love transcends the need for definitive terminology
  - Don't undermine it!!
  - If it transcends the need for definitive terminology, then why are you calling it love?

Monday, 2002-03-25

aggie virus

You have received the Aggie Virus. Since we do not really know how to work a computer, you are on the honor system. Please delete all of your files.
Thanks and Gig 'Em

a lesson in irresponsibility

Well, today has been a great day. Unless you factor in the fact that I missed an interview for a job I really wanted, realized I hadn't done my homework for Spanish, all while worrying that I wouldn't be able to have enough time to q-drop my Business Calculus. The first two problems haven't panned out yet. But I accomplished my last goal. Awesome. Now I have to worry about losing my housing or financial aid.

College is a lesson in irresponsibility. I learned this today.

granpa's 75th: a family shindig

I really haven't had a reason to post recently. Everything has been going great. Well, I guess I do have a good reason to post: I went home this past weekend for my grandpa's 75th birthday. I am so glad I got to take my sweetie Gemma with me. I told her repeatedly on the way that everyone would love her. Hmmmm. Guess what? They did. I told her before we got there that I would have to tell her "I told you so" and did she believe me? Women. I guess I'll let it slide. Of course I will. I love her so much.

The party was a great success. Why it had to be a surprise party I don't know. Shocking old people can be risky sometimes. But he survived. I'll post some pictures of Gemma and me and various other family group and family member shots later. When I get them from my cousin. Who, by the way has the most adorable kids — Sloan and Benjamin (who I like to call Ben-jammin').

Friday, 2002-03-22

sweet 16: a game well played

The 'Horns of The University of Texas gave the Ducks of The University of Oregon a great game. Too bad it wasn't enough for an advance to the elite eight. Well, one team advanced. Just not the team I wanted. Although we never led we gave them enough hell to keep me on the edge of my seat. Longhorns, congrats on a great season. And Oregon: don't let our loss be in vain. Kick some ass. Click here for ESPN's game recap and here for game stats. Hook 'em Horns.

Thursday, 2002-03-21

a lil' something about history

History repeats itself. That's one of the things wrong with history. Clarence Darrow

a new logo


I spent quite a few hours working in Adobe Photoshop, creating the logo on the left. Maybe one of these days I will dedicate the time and effort that I waste using my computer on schoolwork. Or possibly something of actual importance.

Having a lack of motivation sucks. Seriously. I can stay up till 0455 working on my webpage. Now try to get me to do that with anything that may have anything to do with my future. Won't happen.

Wednesday, 2002-03-20

simon says

Recall your childhood with a Flash version of Simon Says. Click the buttons in the same order as Simon, the computer, to advance to the next level. Easy enough. Now try it.

Tuesday, 2002-03-19

(austin, i'm) back

Back in Austin. Actually I have been here since this past Thursday. And in related news, spring break sucked. The whole time I was thinking about what I was missing: Gemma, friends, The University of Texas, Austin, and Jester Dormitory. It was nice to feel my heart beat again upon seeing the Tower. At that precise moment I always know that I am home again.

Thursday, 2002-03-14



Recently I went to get my license renewed. I consciously wore the same shirt this time as I did last time in an attempt for there to be a pattern. Why? I don't know. Actually I think I did that because a good friend of mine at UT did the same for all his licenses and kept every one of them. So when you look at them in an array you see a pattern.

Anyways, I figured when I am rich and famous a mugshot of myself will have to leak out from somewhere (example: Bill Gates). I would rather they be released to the public on my own accord. They should show up above. The first, in order, image is from my original driver's license and the second is from the most recent one.

Wednesday, 2002-03-13

go to hell

Ever wanted to go to hell? Here's your chance.

procrastination now has a home page

Earlier, I had a picture of a two-headed turtle. That turtle (whose name is Procrastination) inspired me to build a webpage about an organization by the name of The Order of the Two-Headed Turtle. Because it is a page dedicated to a life of procrastination forgive me that it isn't extensive (I am putting off working on it 'till later).

your love life - accurate predictions

Ever wanted your future love and sex life predicted? With the help of advanced mathematical calculations based on the concept of human psychology, all this has recently been made possible.

Monday, 2002-03-11


Today marks six months since that fateful day in America's history. The wound is still fresh. The cut is still deep. But this is all a dream. For a while after the World Trade Center was hit the event was constantly on my mind. It has since began to slip my train of thought for days at a time. I think this serves as an example of how ephemeral the thoughts of the American people can be (or maybe I'm the only one).

Looking back, I've become very curious as to how the world (let alone myself) reacted on 2001-09-11. There is an internet archive of all the major news publications that covered the events of the day. Worth taking a look.

Sunday, 2002-03-10

(on being) home

Things seem to be going fairly well here in Houston. I have decided to work things out with my dad. Since before I went to college the great relationship that me and my dad had had has fallen apart. Why am I still angry at him? I'm still trying to sort that out. I have a couple of things I'm mulling over so I guess I will find out soon enough.

texas rallies

In other news, I have done some work on different parts of this site. In the previous post I mentioned a Flash animation that I made for TLC 321.

I have also revamped (or attempted to do so) the Texas Rallies website. If you are interested in seeing it check it out, as I am very proud of it. Don't be afraid though to send me a critique, whether it be big or small, by following the "Comments or Suggestions" link at the bottom of every page. Without further ado.

Thursday, 2002-03-07

i know what i like

For Intro to Technology, Literacy and Culture (TLC 321) I had to make a flash animation of what I like. Wanna check it out? Here ya go.

Wednesday, 2002-03-06

something about a drum...

If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum.
Chinese Curse

count the f's (scientific study)


How many F's did you see? Three probably. That's okay; you're only a little slow. There are actually six. But, keep working at it. One day that hamster of yours running on a wheel in your brain might actually kick into overdrive.

bubblewrap: time-wasting ahead

Perpetual bubblewrap will allow you to waste time virtually. As if I didn't already have enough distractions.

space invaders

Did you ever play Space Invaders when you were little? I did. And wasted my lunch money on numerous occasions. If you want to start saving some coin download the game — making sure to save the file to your computer.

Need to know how to play the game? First double-click the file you downloaded (invaders.exe). When the program loads hit "Enter." To move left use the "Ctrl" button. To move right use the "Alt" button. Use the right "Shift" key to fire and the escape key to close the program.

Saturday, 2002-03-02


Procrastination, The Two-Headed Turtle

It's official. I have decided to create a two-headed turtle's club. The mascot will be my good buddy Procrastination.

For Procrastination I've created a logo. Actually, I should say that I modified an image and claimed the result as entirely my own.

sir winston churchill and bill hicks

Men occasionally stumble on the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. Sir Winston Churchill

Give me a phone call, I'd love to hear from you. Bill Hicks via Pinder Johal


Photocollages at No Commercial Potential.

Friday, 2002-03-01

some "new" smilies

All are variations with the tilde symbol (~). Leave me alone. I can at least believe I created them.

:~)  :~(   :~   :~   :~!   :~¡  :~|   :~/   :~\   :~#   :~?   :~p   :~P   :~X   :~x

reflex tester: warning, addictive

Reflex Tester — click this link at your own risk. You have been warned.

quotes of human nature

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. James Branch Cabell

I'm tired of this backslapping 'ain't humanity neat' bullshit. We're a virus with shoes. Bill Hicks